July 16 - 22, 2004 • Vol. 24 - No. 29

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The White Chicks: Not Really White Nor Chicks,
but Definitely Funny 
by The Maven and The Blonde
Film Columnists

 Two African-American FBI agents, Kevin Copeland, played by Shawn Wayans (Scary Movie), and Marcus Copeland, played by Marlon Wayans (also Scary Movie), are ambitious but unlucky brothers who become white, blonde, and chick deep, in an undercover investigation. They are officially sent to pick up two heiresses—Tiffany and Brittany Wilson—at the airport and drive them to the Hamptons. After getting into a car accident and botching up the plan, the girls refuse to go because of a few minor scratches. The brothers devise a plan to impersonate Tiffany and Brittany by having their FBI buddy, who is also a makeup genius, turn them into these two milky-white high society debutantes. They infiltrate the sophisticated world of the Hamptons to investigate a kidnapping ring. Many different subplots are intertwined within the storyline to keep you amused.

The Blonde: White Chicks was like Some Like it Hot meets Bosom Buddies meets Dumb and Dumber meets Starsky and Hutch and Tootsie. First of all, I did enjoy this movie and thought that it was very funny in a silly and ironic sort of way. Maven, do you remember these twins from the television show “The Color Purple”?

The Maven: Did you just get your hair done today? They are not twins, just brothers. It’s not the “Color Purple,” it was “In Living Color.” In addition, the director of White Chicks, Keenen Ivory Wayans (also a brother) was the main star of “In Living Color.”

The Blonde: Very interesting. However, you stand corrected as well, as I am a natural silky-shiny blonde! One thing that I must comment about is none of the girls in the film were natural blondes including the two FBI brothers.

The Maven: Duh! They were wearing wigs!

The Blonde: I did feel, like totally, fer-shur, offended about all the dumb-blonde, typecast, cliche behaviors. Even though like everyone else in the theater was laughing, OK!  OK! OK!  I resemble those remarks. By the way, didn't you like, oh my-gosh, love all the fab Louis Vitton luggage and designer clothes in the movie?

The Maven: Yes, I was genuinely jealous. If you are familiar with the work of the Wayan brothers, then you will know what to expect from this movie. Stereotypical exploitations, crude humor, and sexual innuendo are just a few of the ploys used to obtain laughter…

The Blonde: Oh you read Bill Clinton’s new book, too?                                                   

The Maven: No, not yet, but I did read the biography of Howard Stern…I am usually mildly amused when watching the Wayan brother’s Scary Movie franchise. I must tell you, though, that this movie had me laughing out loud several times.

The Blonde: Laughter! Is that what those snorting sounds were? I thought that noise was you choking on your popcorn? Am I crazy, or did you think that Shawn and Marlon were as cute as women as they are as real life men?

The Maven: The work by special effects makeup artists Greg Cannom and Keith Vanderlaan was simply amazing. Although Shawn and Marlon were not beautiful white chicks they were passable. At least as passable as two very black men can be as very white chicks.

The Blonde: For those of you who can identify with Lactose Intolerance, you will love the bathroom scene. I need not say anymore. By the way, Rochelle Aytes, who plays Denise Porter, was stunning and, in my opinion, even more beautiful than what’s her name?

The Maven: Are you referring to Halle Berry?
The Blonde: Yes, I was... Is she Lactose Intolerant too?

The Maven: I don’t know, but I am…

The Blonde: Thank you for sharing! I just want to interject one observation. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed the White Chick and its humor, I don’t feel that most people over forty will appreciate this type of humor unless they are very open minded or Lactose Intolerant…
The Maven: I can only recommend this movie if you like the genre of over-the-top, juvenile humor. This was better than most. I rate this movie a C…

The Blonde: I have to agree with that statement and rate White Chick a C-. Hey, Maven... Let’s go out for an extra-cheese pizza and ice-cream…

The Maven: Very funny!


The Notebook:
A Tearjerker of Almost Unfair Proportions

This story begins On June 6, 1940 in the Coastal town of Seabrook, North Carolina. Sixteen-year-old Allie Hamilton, played by Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls and The Hot Chick), meets a local boy Noah Calhoun, played by Ryan Gosling (True Believer), at a small town Carnival. Though the two come from different worlds, she a wealthy debutante and he a poor mill-worker, their sizzling attraction is immediate. Over the next few months, the two fall madly in love, sharing a carefree, passionate summer romance. Near the summers end, they are pulled apart by her family, and love-sick Allie is forced to return home. The young lovers are further separated by the sudden outbreak of World War II. Noah, after writing the love of his life 365 letters in one year, cannot understand why she never replies. For seven long years, Allie and Noah are haunted by each other’s memories and innocent love. Finally, Allie moves on and gets engaged to marry Lon, played by James Marsden (X-Men), a wealthy soldier she meets as a volunteer in a G.I. hospital while still in college. Prior to her wedding, Allie feels she must have closure. She goes back to Seabrook to see Noah one last time. This is where the plot thickens. Starring also, as an intricate part of this story, is the elegant Gena Rowlands (Hope Floats) and the loveable James Garner (Rockford Files, Space Cowboys). That’s all you’re getting from us.  Cry for yourselves.

The Blonde: Drama, Drama, Drama. Ahh, young love, nothing like it. Sixteen years old and so in love. I remember ten years ago when I was just sixteen….
The Maven: Really? How can you be younger than your own daughter?
The Blonde: That’s my secret. The Notebook was like The Titanic meets Romeo and Juliet meets Tears of Endearment meets Love Story. Did you know that Gena and James worked together a few years ago in The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood? He played the exact same character in that film as well.

The Maven: It wasn’t Gena. It was Ellen Burstyn, but close enough for you... Romantic films are easy to come by. So much so that you probably thought you'd seen them all already. But this film captures the pure essence of romance with its innocence and vulnerability. Not to mention, a dynamite chemistry between the two actors involved, or should I say four.
The Blonde: I completely agree with your chemistry remark. You could feel their passion right through the screen. It was killing me with envy! I thought the casting director did an amazing job picking the perfect actors for each role. Didn’t you think that Ryan was a hunk? Great nose. I wonder if it is his natural nose? Why do I think these things? James was cute as a button, too. I would love to have that horrible choice that poor Allie had to make. It should only happen to me one day, Please God… James did give better jewelry though, which is something to consider. What could Ryan offer? Just eternal happiness and pure joy? Am I shallow? I did think this was a refreshing movie, however.

The Maven: Ryan Gosling really had the opportunity to shine in this movie. He so often plays the intense psychopaths that I was truly impressed with his ability to play a romantic lead so well.  He didn’t even have to show his tush once!

The Blonde: That was a bummer for the audience ... The Notebook unfortunately did haunt me that night in bed. It forced me to think about my first love. All of them! Oh the pain, heartache, and tears and that was only in elementary school…. I really appreciated the beautiful cinematography, which enhanced the story of The Notebook. I also enjoyed the tender directing of Nick Cassavetes. He is the son of Gena Rowlands and John Cassavetes. Hey Maven, by the way, didn'’ Rachel look particularly beautiful with her charismatic smile?Do you think her teeth are natural?

The Maven: I found her wondrously adorable in this movie as she was fiendishly mean and vain in Mean Girls. Nick Cassavetes directed his amazing cast with a real connection to the story’s humanity and feeling. Bring your tissue—you won’t be immune to this one. I rate this movie a B+.

The Blonde: I thought this was a sensitive, old-fashion summer love story. I tried my hardest to be tough and not cry. I had a date after the film and I didn’t want to ruin my makeup. It didn’t work! Thank goodness the Maven brought extra tissue. I rate The Notebook a B+ as well. I recommend Sweet-tarts and Hershey Kisses………. Enjoy your tears!

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