Wedding Date—Guys Beware:
A Chick Flick from the
Get-Go by The Blonde and
The Maven Film Columnists
The
romantic comedy Wedding Date stars Debra Messing (“Will
& Grace,” Along Came Polly and The Mothman
Prophecies) as Kat Ellis, a single New Yorker with a
social dilemma. Her half-sister is about to get married
in England and the best man is Kat's ex-fiancé who
dumped her two years ago. Kat's only solution is to hire
a male escort that she tracked down after reading an
article about him in the Sunday New York Times. After
coming up with his asking price of six thousand dollars,
she is anxious, completely nervous and about to meet him
for the first time in the first-class section of a
Virgin Atlantic airplane. In walks Nick Mercer, a
romance novel fantasy hunk with a suave demeanor and a
smile that could melt an ice queen, played by the
ever-handsome Dermot Mulroney (About Schmidt and My Best
Friend's Wedding). Kat is ambiguous about hiring Nick,
but his professionalism and control puts her at ease. In
addition, he further explains to her that if she will be
interested in sex, it will be an extra charge. With that
settled, they are off to meet her impossible relatives
and join in on the wedding activities. The happy wedding
couple are the bride, played by Amy Adams (Serving Sara
and Catch Me if You Can) and her groom Edward, played by
Jack Davenport (Pirates of the Caribbean). The other
main character who adds to the mix is The CAD,
ex-fiance' and Best Man Jeffrey, portrayed by Jeremy
Sheffield (A Secret Affair). What should be a wonderful
family occasion turns out to be nothing short of a
family mess. There are some twists, turns and surprises
awaiting our little Kat. It's interesting to note that
director Clare Kilner, screenwriter Dana Fox and the
author of the book this film is based on (Asking for
Trouble) Elizabeth Young, are all females. With all this
estrogen, you might expect a good romance, originality,
and some hot, steamy sex scenes. Don't hold your
breath!
The
Blonde: Although the previews looked promising, this
insultingly predictable film was like (they wished it
was more like) My Best Friend’s Wedding meets French
Kiss meets Four Weddings and a Funeral and Pretty Woman
meets… oh, who cares at this point! Debra Messing looked
and behaved like a cross between Meg Ryan and Jennifer
Aniston. The only good or interesting parts to speak
about in this movie was Dermot's body parts and
sometimes ya get lucky to see them. Other than that,
Wedding Date was trite, trivial, unoriginal and cheesy
enough to supply Pizza Hut with the cheese for their
pizzas for a month, NATIONALLY…It had so much potential
to make for a really funny comedy, but totally failed to
deliver ANYTHING original or unique at all. Watching
this film, I realized that this was the absolute wrong
time to be cutting back on my Starbucks café
lattes.
The
Maven: OHHHH! I was wondering why their quarterly income
dropped seven percent this week for real! Move over,
Brad, there is a new HUNK in my life. That bathroom
scene showed me why I would like to see more of Dermot
Mulroney! Oomph…and those eyes are so bedroomish. I
would hire him anytime. He makes hot flashes feel good.
The
Blonde: But did you like him? By the way, Brad is mine,
so he doesn't need to move over! Oh wait, I just thought
of another good point to this film…They played a lot of
music by Air Supply! I think THE most nauseating moment
in this one, folks (and believe me there were many) was
when Nick told Kat and I quote, “I would rather fight
with you than make love to anyone else.” Oh give me a
barf bag...PLEASE…
THE
Maven: Debra Messing is great at physical comedy and she
showed she could carry a movie. Too bad for her it
wasn't a better movie. It's not that it is a
particularly bad movie, it was just too predictable.
The
Blonde: Ho-hum, yawn-yawn, it was particularly bad as
far as I am concerned. Maven, speaking of "The Donald,"
did you hear that he is producing Martha Stewart in her
own “Apprentice” show? Good for them! I hope she takes
the world by storm, well as soon as she is released from
the clinker that is! He is also hoping to take
this show to Broadway The Apprentice the Musical. He
never stops reinventing his businesses. It's a good
thing because with what is going on with social
security, he will need the money for his retirement!
Speaking of reinventing oneself Madonna, is doing a
movie on the children's book she wrote. It is a lovely
story. A far better story than this movie
was.
The
Maven: When Madonna was singing “Like a Virgin,” did you
ever think she would end up producing children's movies?
Hey, forget about Trump! What are we going to do?
I knew I should have become an interpreter. Then I
would have a secure future.
The
Blonde: But you only speak English.
The
Maven: Yeah, but I could explain to the world what the
heck Bush is saying or trying to that
is.
The
Blonde: GOOD ONE! Back to Madonna… people grow and
change. Kabbalah certainly has enhanced her world for
the better. Hey Mave, have you seen the new late night
talk show host Craig Ferguson who replaced Craig
Kilborn. He is not only very funny, but uniquely clever.
I love his out-of-the-box humor. Not to mention his
cutesy accent.
Story continued on bottom
The Maven: Hey, I could even interpret what you
are trying to say, too!
The
Blonde: That's not a good one! OUCH OUCH
OUCH!
The
Maven: Now, back to the movie!
The
Blonde: Oh, why bother? It's not worth the computer ink!
The greatest thing about this film was that it was only
an hour and a half!
The
Maven: Now wait just a minute. It was a comedy. It was
about weddings and God only knows you love those.
The
Blonde: No, I just like the gowns and ya have to have a
wedding to wear one. If we could just get away with
wearing the wedding gown without the wedding, it would
be great thing. For the bonus, no divorce lawyers will
be necessary.
The
Maven: Hey, I don't mind if you were a wedding gown to
the movies. I agree! You look great in a veil and
tiara.
The
Blonde: Don't patronize me!
The
Maven: Ok, maybe not to the movie theater, but bowling
would be fine. Do they sell white bowling shoes without
a stripe? Speaking of Trump's wedding…
The
Blonde: That's it!
The
Maven: OK, OK, OK! I just couldn't help myself. Now,
back to the movie.
The
Blonde: NO! Pick something else that had merit.
The
Maven: The film did take place in England, and you do
love London.
The
Blonde: Yeah and your point? Even with the wedding, the
gown, the sexy guy, and England this film was a bust.
For you men out there, the bust I am talking about isn't
on a female. So moviegoers, did the team you were
rooting for win the Superbowl? For me, the best part of
the game was halftime with Paul McCartney. He was
terrific!
The
Maven: YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT! If you are looking for
a mild movie that won't depress, shock or scare you,
then this is it! I rate it a C for can I “C” more of
Dermot?
The
Blonde: I would rather be depressed, shocked, or
scared rather than sit through this one again. You are
better off getting a copy of Bride magazine, making a
hot chocolate and staying warm at home. This is a movie
that is not worthy of your money. I rate Wedding Date a
C- - - okay a “D” for DON'T GO! If you MUST, than I
recommend you suck on sour lemon drops and drink some
lemon-aid for this story was a LEMON! See you at a
better flick.
P.S.: For those of you who are looking for a
scary flick, The Boogie Man was fun, but leaves you
hanging in the end. We are so tired of being left
hanging at the end of movies. It's like waiting for the
call after a first date!
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