February 11 - 17, 2005 • Vol. 26 - No. 05

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Wedding Date—Guys Beware:
A Chick Flick from the Get-Go

by The Blonde and The Maven
Film Columnists

The romantic comedy Wedding Date stars Debra Messing (“Will & Grace,” Along Came Polly and The Mothman Prophecies) as Kat Ellis, a single New Yorker with a social dilemma. Her half-sister is about to get married in England and the best man is Kat's ex-fiancé who dumped her two years ago. Kat's only solution is to hire a male escort that she tracked down after reading an article about him in the Sunday New York Times. After coming up with his asking price of six thousand dollars, she is anxious, completely nervous and about to meet him for the first time in the first-class section of a Virgin Atlantic airplane. In walks Nick Mercer, a romance novel fantasy hunk with a suave demeanor and a smile that could melt an ice queen, played by the ever-handsome Dermot Mulroney (About Schmidt and My Best Friend's Wedding). Kat is ambiguous about hiring Nick, but his professionalism and control puts her at ease. In addition, he further explains to her that if she will be interested in sex, it will be an extra charge. With that settled, they are off to meet her impossible relatives and join in on the wedding activities. The happy wedding couple are the bride, played by Amy Adams (Serving Sara and Catch Me if You Can) and her groom Edward, played by Jack Davenport (Pirates of the Caribbean). The other main character who adds to the mix is The CAD, ex-fiance' and Best Man Jeffrey, portrayed by Jeremy Sheffield (A Secret Affair). What should be a wonderful family occasion turns out to be nothing short of a family mess. There are some twists, turns and surprises awaiting our little Kat. It's interesting to note that director Clare Kilner, screenwriter Dana Fox and the author of the book this film is based on (Asking for Trouble) Elizabeth Young, are all females. With all this estrogen, you might expect a good romance, originality, and some hot, steamy sex scenes. Don't hold your breath!

The Blonde: Although the previews looked promising, this insultingly predictable film was like (they wished it was more like) My Best Friend’s Wedding meets French Kiss meets Four Weddings and a Funeral and Pretty Woman meets… oh, who cares at this point! Debra Messing looked and behaved like a cross between Meg Ryan and Jennifer Aniston. The only good or interesting parts to speak about in this movie was Dermot's body parts and sometimes ya get lucky to see them. Other than that, Wedding Date was trite, trivial, unoriginal and cheesy enough to supply Pizza Hut with the cheese for their pizzas for a month, NATIONALLY…It had so much potential to make for a really funny comedy, but totally failed to deliver ANYTHING original or unique at all. Watching this film, I realized that this was the absolute wrong time to be cutting back on my Starbucks café lattes.

The Maven: OHHHH! I was wondering why their quarterly income dropped seven percent this week for real! Move over, Brad, there is a new HUNK in my life. That bathroom scene showed me why I would like to see more of Dermot Mulroney! Oomph…and those eyes are so bedroomish. I would hire him anytime. He makes hot flashes feel good.

The Blonde: But did you like him? By the way, Brad is mine, so he doesn't need to move over! Oh wait, I just thought of another good point to this film…They played a lot of music by Air Supply! I think THE most nauseating moment in this one, folks (and believe me there were many) was when Nick told Kat and I quote, “I would rather fight with you than make love to anyone else.” Oh give me a barf bag...PLEASE…

THE Maven: Debra Messing is great at physical comedy and she showed she could carry a movie. Too bad for her it wasn't a better movie. It's not that it is a particularly bad movie, it was just too predictable.

The Blonde: Ho-hum, yawn-yawn, it was particularly bad as far as I am concerned. Maven, speaking of "The Donald," did you hear that he is producing Martha Stewart in her own “Apprentice” show? Good for them! I hope she takes the world by storm, well as soon as she is released from the clinker that is!  He is also hoping to take this show to Broadway The Apprentice the Musical. He never stops reinventing his businesses. It's a good thing because with what is going on with social security, he will need the money for his retirement! Speaking of reinventing oneself Madonna, is doing a movie on the children's book she wrote. It is a lovely story. A far better story than this movie was.

The Maven: When Madonna was singing “Like a Virgin,” did you ever think she would end up producing children's movies? Hey, forget about Trump! What are we going to do?  I knew I should have become an interpreter. Then I would have a secure future.

The Blonde:  But you only speak English.

The Maven: Yeah, but I could explain to the world what the heck Bush is saying or trying to that is.              

The Blonde: GOOD ONE!  Back to Madonna… people grow and change. Kabbalah certainly has enhanced her world for the better. Hey Mave, have you seen the new late night talk show host Craig Ferguson who replaced Craig Kilborn. He is not only very funny, but uniquely clever. I love his out-of-the-box humor. Not to mention his cutesy accent.

Story continued on bottom

The Maven: Hey, I could even interpret what you are trying to say, too!

The Blonde: That's not a good one! OUCH OUCH OUCH!

The Maven: Now, back to the movie!

The Blonde: Oh, why bother? It's not worth the computer ink! The greatest thing about this film was that it was only an hour and a half!

The Maven: Now wait just a minute. It was a comedy. It was about weddings and God only knows you love those.

The Blonde: No, I just like the gowns and ya have to have a wedding to wear one. If we could just get away with wearing the wedding gown without the wedding, it would be great thing. For the bonus, no divorce lawyers will be necessary.

The Maven: Hey, I don't mind if you were a wedding gown to the movies. I agree! You look great in a veil and tiara.

The Blonde: Don't patronize me!

The Maven: Ok, maybe not to the movie theater, but bowling would be fine. Do they sell white bowling shoes without a stripe? Speaking of Trump's wedding…

The Blonde:  That's it!

The Maven: OK, OK, OK! I just couldn't help myself. Now, back to the movie.

The Blonde: NO! Pick something else that had merit.

The Maven: The film did take place in England, and you do love London.

The Blonde: Yeah and your point? Even with the wedding, the gown, the sexy guy, and England this film was a bust. For you men out there, the bust I am talking about isn't on a female. So moviegoers, did the team you were rooting for win the Superbowl? For me, the best part of the game was halftime with Paul McCartney. He was terrific!

The Maven: YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT! If you are looking for a mild movie that won't depress, shock or scare you, then this is it! I rate it a C for can I “C” more of Dermot?

The Blonde:  I would rather be depressed, shocked, or scared rather than sit through this one again. You are better off getting a copy of Bride magazine, making a hot chocolate and staying warm at home. This is a movie that is not worthy of your money. I rate Wedding Date a C- - - okay a “D” for DON'T GO! If you MUST, than I recommend you suck on sour lemon drops and drink some lemon-aid for this story was a LEMON!  See you at a better flick.

P.S.: For those of you who are looking for a scary flick, The Boogie Man was fun, but leaves you hanging in the end. We are so tired of being left hanging at the end of movies. It's like waiting for the call after a first date!

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