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Apr 26, 2006
 Scary Movie 4—Scary How Bad a Film Can Be
 by The Blonde and The Maven

Remember that first Scary Movie where Drew Barrymore was getting those scary phone calls? You just knew that this was going to be a funny, scary, different movie. Now that we are up to number 4, its no longer funny or scary or that different. David Zucker (Airplane, Top Secret, Phone Booth and Scary Movie 3) is back to direct another one. Its hard to believe that a man who is pushing 60 years old directed a film full of childish sexual humor, lame puns, repetitive slapstick and gaseous emissions, but he did.

It would be difficult to describe the plot of the film because there isnt much of one. Each actor is representing a send-up of another movie with some pop culture humor in the mix. Anna Farris (All the Scary Movies so far) stars as Cindy Campbell, the lovable, vacuous girl who can really take a punch. Her main movie spoof is The Grudge with a little Million Dollar Baby thrown in. Craig Bierko (Cinderella Man and The Long Kiss Goodnight) plays Tom Ryan, a guy who doesnt take responsibility too well and is mostly spoofing War of the Worlds. Cindy and Tom meet and intertwine these two films, as well as several others, as their love story is told. Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun series and Magoo) plays President Baxter Harris and pulls off one of the funniest nude scenes ever. Why the filmmakers chose to feature Leslie and not Carmen Electra in the nude scene is beyond belief, however, he is holding up well!

The Blonde: How many languages can you say STUPID MOVIE in? I MEAN, REALLY! The scariest part of Scary Movie 4 was how STUPID it was. I found the first three to be quite humorous. I found this sequel STUPID. I ALSO found it to be insulting, not funny, not scary, not clever, dumb, absurd, ridiculous, and just plain STUPID. They should have called it STUPID movie! Man!!!! To coin a phrase from Forrest Gump (a great film), “stupid is as stupid does”! This film was like stupid meets The Village meets The Grudge meets Saw meets War of the Worlds meets Brokeback Mountain meets Million Dollar Baby meets STUPID! 

The Maven: Its hard to believe that, while traveling through this episodic litany of film parodies that bordered on the obvious and dumb side, I still found myself laughing out loud. I especially liked any scene Leslie Nielsen was in. It must be because he was spoofing George W. If only I could laugh at George as well! Oh! Wait a minute. I do!!! Many of the jokes fell flat, but there were a few that rang true and hilarious. Anna Farris is appealing in her Cindy Campbell role. What a dumb broad. Craig Bierko is usually a bad guy in his films, so it was refreshing to see him as a buffoon.

The Blonde: This film reminded me of a question I occasionally ask myself. Didn’t they realize while filming just how bad this film was? Didn’t they think of possibly doing some rewrites? Being the fourth one, didn’t someone think they owed it to the fans to deliver a good, silly film? I WAS a fan!!! Dumb, dumb, dumb. This film makes the film Dumb and Dumber seems like an intelligent movie! I did like the part of the film, though, where they made fun of Bush in the school with the kids. I also think that even though I am quite fond of Leslie Nielsen, he should keep his clothes on for the rest of his career. In addition I think Dr. Phil should stick to his talk show and leave the acting to the actors and I think Oprah should be insulted to be made fun of in such a bad film.
The Maven: How can you improve stupid when that’s the goal? The scary movies are “send-ups” of other movies. You take a situation and make fun of it. The fans of the series laugh because it’s fun to make fun of serious movies with fart jokes, sexual innuendo, and slapstick comedy. If you are going to judge a farce by serious standards, then you don’t get it! No one goes to these movies expecting any Oscar performances. You expect tasteless jokes, silly dialogue, and stupid plot lines.
The Blonde: I hear what you say, and I am not judging by serious standards. A silly, tasteless film can still be good. I liked the first three, but this one was over the line bad. Speaking of tasteless and judgmental, I wonder why the all so knowing and perfect Tom Cruise didn’t stop the release of this film as he was made fun of so badly in it!
The Maven: You must be referring to the “South Park” incident! Maybe he learned his lesson?
The Blonde: I doubt it! “HE’LL BE BACK”!
The Maven: Sometimes he says the stupidest things. When asked on Prime Time about the delay in walking down the aisle, he said they were just talking about that. He said, “We were walking up to bed, and I just, I can’t wait till we get married. I can’t wait till I can call and say, ‘Hey, you know, put my wife on the phone’.” He never answered the question. The man talks like a teenager and acts like one, too. Poor Katie! I liked him better when I didn’t know anything about him.
The Blonde: Just because someone is cute, famous, and rich doesn’t make them intelligent. Hello…Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole and Britney Spears. Shall I continue?
The Maven: OH, let us not forget our President!
The Blonde: You could be arrested for “them, there, words”! But I will buy you a Starbucks for them! Touché, Mav! Be careful, Tom himself might come after you for that comment.
The Maven: OOOOOH, I’M REALLY SCARED! I can only recommend this film if you are looking for distraction in your life. It will not enlighten you with any knowledge or spirituality. It certainly won’t win any awards. It will, however, empty your mind of all thought, except those juvenile tendencies you may have to laugh at ridiculous things. I rate Scary Movie 4 a C- for the cathartic experience that comes about when you think life can’t get more stupid. Unless, of course, there is a Scary Movie 5!
The Blonde: I cannot disagree with the Mav more! If you are looking for a distraction in your life, call your ex and have a good argument! This film is DUMB… DUMB… DUMB… Beyond dumb actually. It crosses into insulting.  MISS THIS FILM! Listen to the Blonde this time. I rate this, how can I put it nicely, BAD FILM an F! Yes, movie fans, an F! For your film snacks if you must go, I recommend Lemon Drops candy to go with the lemon this film is! DUMB…DUMB…DUMB!


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