26, 2006 Scary Movie 4—Scary How Bad a Film Can Be
by The Blonde and The Maven
Remember that first Scary
Movie where Drew Barrymore was getting those scary phone calls? You
just knew that this was going to be a funny, scary, different movie.
Now that we are up to number 4, its no longer funny or scary or that
different. David Zucker (Airplane, Top Secret, Phone Booth and Scary
Movie 3) is back to direct another one. Its hard to believe that a
man who is pushing 60 years old directed a film full of childish
sexual humor, lame puns, repetitive slapstick and gaseous emissions,
but he did.
It would be difficult to describe the plot of
the film because there isnt much of one. Each actor is representing
a send-up of another movie with some pop culture humor in the mix.
Anna Farris (All the Scary Movies so far) stars as Cindy Campbell,
the lovable, vacuous girl who can really take a punch. Her main
movie spoof is The Grudge with a little Million Dollar Baby thrown
in. Craig Bierko (Cinderella Man and The Long Kiss Goodnight) plays
Tom Ryan, a guy who doesnt take responsibility too well and is
mostly spoofing War of the Worlds. Cindy and Tom meet and intertwine
these two films, as well as several others, as their love story is
told. Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun series and Magoo) plays
President Baxter Harris and pulls off one of the funniest nude
scenes ever. Why the filmmakers chose to feature Leslie and not
Carmen Electra in the nude scene is beyond belief, however, he is
holding up well!
The Blonde: How many languages can you say
STUPID MOVIE in? I MEAN, REALLY! The scariest part of Scary Movie 4
was how STUPID it was. I found the first three to be quite humorous.
I found this sequel STUPID. I ALSO found it to be insulting, not
funny, not scary, not clever, dumb, absurd, ridiculous, and just
plain STUPID. They should have called it STUPID movie! Man!!!! To
coin a phrase from Forrest Gump (a great film), “stupid is as stupid
does”! This film was like stupid meets The Village meets The Grudge
meets Saw meets War of the Worlds meets Brokeback Mountain meets
Million Dollar Baby meets STUPID!
The Maven: Its hard
to believe that, while traveling through this episodic litany of
film parodies that bordered on the obvious and dumb side, I still
found myself laughing out loud. I especially liked any scene Leslie
Nielsen was in. It must be because he was spoofing George W. If only
I could laugh at George as well! Oh! Wait a minute. I do!!! Many of
the jokes fell flat, but there were a few that rang true and
hilarious. Anna Farris is appealing in her Cindy Campbell role. What
a dumb broad. Craig Bierko is usually a bad guy in his films, so it
was refreshing to see him as a buffoon.
The Blonde: This film
reminded me of a question I occasionally ask myself. Didn’t they
realize while filming just how bad this film was? Didn’t they think
of possibly doing some rewrites? Being the fourth one, didn’t
someone think they owed it to the fans to deliver a good, silly
film? I WAS a fan!!! Dumb, dumb, dumb. This film makes the film Dumb
and Dumber seems like an intelligent movie! I did like the part of
the film, though, where they made fun of Bush in the school with the
kids. I also think that even though I am quite fond of Leslie
Nielsen, he should keep his clothes on for the rest of his career.
In addition I think Dr. Phil should stick to his talk show and leave
the acting to the actors and I think Oprah should be insulted to be
made fun of in such a bad film.
The Maven: How can you
improve stupid when that’s the goal? The scary movies are “send-ups”
of other movies. You take a situation and make fun of it. The fans
of the series laugh because it’s fun to make fun of serious movies
with fart jokes, sexual innuendo, and slapstick comedy. If you are
going to judge a farce by serious standards, then you don’t get it!
No one goes to these movies expecting any Oscar performances. You
expect tasteless jokes, silly dialogue, and stupid plot
The Blonde: I hear what you say, and I am not
judging by serious standards. A silly, tasteless film can still be
good. I liked the first three, but this one was over the line bad.
Speaking of tasteless and judgmental, I wonder why the all so
knowing and perfect Tom Cruise didn’t stop the release of this film
as he was made fun of so badly in it!
The Maven: You
must be referring to the “South Park” incident! Maybe he learned his
The Blonde: I doubt it! “HE’LL BE BACK”!
The Maven: Sometimes he says the stupidest things.
When asked on Prime Time about the delay in walking down the aisle,
he said they were just talking about that. He said, “We were walking
up to bed, and I just, I can’t wait till we get married. I can’t
wait till I can call and say, ‘Hey, you know, put my wife on the
phone’.” He never answered the question. The man talks like a
teenager and acts like one, too. Poor Katie! I liked him better when
I didn’t know anything about him.
The Blonde: Just
because someone is cute, famous, and rich doesn’t make them
intelligent. Hello…Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole and Britney Spears.
Shall I continue?
The Maven: OH, let us not forget our
The Blonde: You could be arrested for “them,
there, words”! But I will buy you a Starbucks for them! Touché, Mav!
Be careful, Tom himself might come after you for that comment.
The Maven: OOOOOH, I’M REALLY SCARED! I can only
recommend this film if you are looking for distraction in your life.
It will not enlighten you with any knowledge or spirituality. It
certainly won’t win any awards. It will, however, empty your mind of
all thought, except those juvenile tendencies you may have to laugh
at ridiculous things. I rate Scary Movie 4 a C- for the cathartic
experience that comes about when you think life can’t get more
stupid. Unless, of course, there is a Scary Movie
The Blonde: I cannot disagree with the Mav more! If
you are looking for a distraction in your life, call your ex and
have a good argument! This film is DUMB… DUMB… DUMB… Beyond dumb
actually. It crosses into insulting. MISS THIS FILM! Listen to
the Blonde this time. I rate this, how can I put it nicely, BAD FILM
an F! Yes, movie fans, an F! For your film snacks if you must go, I
recommend Lemon Drops candy to go with the lemon this film is!