Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, or Not

July 10th, 2006

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Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow in Walt Disney Pictures' Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - 2006

The Blonde and The Maven

There is so much going on in this movie that it's difficult to know how much to tell you about. So...just the basics! Captain Jack Sparrow is back and Johnny Depp (Finding Neverland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) is portraying him again. It seems that Jack owes a blood debt to the legendary Davy Jones, the captain of the Flying Dutchman. Playing the self-cursed villain Captain Jones is Bill Nighy (Love Actually and Underworld). He threatens to curse Jack to an afterlife of eternal servitude and damnation if he doesn't settle up. Jack's only salvation is in finding the Dead Man's Chest, which contains Davy's mortal and still beating heart. Whomever controls the heart controls Davy and the sea. Don't worry, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann happen along to join in the fun. Orlando Bloom (Lord of the Rings and Kingdom of Heaven) reprises his role as Will and Keira Knightly (Pride and Prejudice and Bend It Like Beckham) returns as Elizabeth. In this installment of the series, we meet Will's father, Bootstrap Bill Turner, played by Stellen Skarsgard (Good Will Hunting and Deep Blue Sea). He is part of the Flying Dutchman cursed crew and, as you may recall, he served with Jack Sparrow on the Black Pearl. Another interesting character is a witch/voodoo priestess, Tia Dalma, played by Naomi Harris (28 Days Later and After the Sunset) who helps Jack and the others with her powers and knowledge. There are many supporting roles in this cast as well as a cute dog that you will see again if you stay for the credits!

The Blonde: Well…Pirates was like Indiana Jones meets Clash of the Titans meets the other Pirate films! I MUST BE HONEST, this film did nothing at all for me. It was too trite and took too long to get to any point. I just didn’t ever get into the story. I know the Mav does not agree with me.

The Maven: I do feel that this film was unnecessarily complicated, but overall it is pure fun! Johnny Depp truly held this film together with his humor and physical comedy. Even with his bad eyeliner, his eyes were amazingly gorgeous and expressive. He WAS nominated for a Golden Globe and an Academy Award and he WON the Sag award for this character already. Captain Jack Sparrow is a most interesting and entertaining fellow to watch on screen.

The Blonde: Sorry, I love Johnny, but I really thought this film was over the top and not very enjoyable. I really wanted to leave and that takes a lot as Johnny truly is a hunk and more than makes up for a bad script… but this was pushin’ it! In addition, I do feel his bad eyeliner was not an important part of his character and unnecessary. Come on Johnny, don’t let them do that to you again!

The Maven: Take note of the following names as you will see them at all the awards shows. For visual effects, John Knoll and Bill George. For special effects, Allen Hall and Michael Lanteri. Those guys did an amazing job, especially with the crew of the Flying Dutchman. They and their captain were all in some stage of metamorphosis from human to fish. Speaking of kudos, let's give some to Rich Heinrichs, the Production Designer. Each village and locale had a very distinctive look about it. The bog where Tia Dalma lived was really cool. This movie, more than the first one, looked like the ride at Disney World. Coincidence or not.

The Blonde: No coincidence, they knew they needed to depend on the ride to push this film in some interesting way! I felt the best actor in this film was without a doubt the dog with the key!

The Maven: I am not ready to let this story go yet. I hear that Star Jones is ready to move on from her media blitz surrounding her exit from “The View.” According to People Magazine, she is moving on to her next job which is a "...weeklong stint hosting HGTV's ‘House Hunters.’ Star will be helping home buyers navigate the New York City real estate market." Wow! One whole week. She must be so happy.

The Blonde: I don’t know if it was my long hard move or just not liking Star in a big way, but… I don’t care what she does!

The Maven: If you want to see an amusing, fun-filled movie, see this one. The action scenes and special effect make-up and production design far outweigh the overly complicated plot. It is actually better than the first one. I cannot wait for the next in the series. I hear Keith Richards will be playing Jack's father. I rate this film a B+ for it's beguiling Captain Jack and the bewitching tentacles of Captain Davy.

The Blonde: Oh! I thought the Davy Jones character was the cute guy from the Monkees. No wonder he never showed up in the film. MY BAD! I don’t agree with the Mav on this one folks. I rate this film a C- and I am being kind! For your movie snack, go ahead and have some Swedish Fish Candy! See you next week!