June 17 - 23, 2005• Vol. 26 - No. 24

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Mr. and Mrs. Smith—Not Your Typical
Mr. and Mrs. By Any Means

 by The Blonde and The Maven
Film Columnists

John and Jane Smith are just an ordinary suburban couple with an ordinary suburban marriage. After five or six years of marriage, they are in marriage counseling to find out why they are not happy together anymore. When the counselor asks them (separately) if they are keeping secrets, the Smith's slyly reply that everyone has secrets.
As we get to know the Smith's (and thanks to numerous previews) we find that their secrets are not like ours. John Smith, portrayed by a sizzling Brad Pitt (Troy and Meet Joe Black) is a construction engineer as far as his wife knows, but in reality he is a deadly assassin. Jane Smith, stunningly played by Angelina Jolie (Taking Lives and Alexander) is a computer specialist, as far as her husband believes, but in reality she is a deadly assassin. The secrets don't become a problem until their competing agencies send them to kill the same target, (Adam Brody from “The O.C.”). Now, they have a problem! When the Smith's discover that their marriage is full of lies (whose isn't?), they want to kill each other. To make matters worse, their bosses order them to kill each other as well.
Helping John is his friend and fellow assassin Eddie, played by Vince Vaughn (Be Cool and Old School). Assisting Jane is her friend and fellow assassin Jasmine, portrayed by Kerry Washington (Ray and soon-to-be-released Fantastic Four).
Directing this fabulous cast is Doug Limon, who previously directed the action-packed Bourne Identity. Writing this for the screen was Simon Kinberg (XXX State of the Union). Editing all of the action was Michael Tronick A.C.E., whose previous credits include SWAT and The Scorpion King.
To find out if the Smith's survive to work out their marital difficulties, join the throngs of other moviegoers. You might also want to see what all the gossip was about. You know, the whole Brad and Angelina and Jennifer thing!

The Blonde: WOW-WE-WOW-WOW-WOW! Mr. and Mrs. Smith was like True Lies meets Lara Croft meets Bonnie and Clyde meets Mission Impossible and War of the Roses meets Prizzi's Honor meets The Thomas Crown Affair and Intolerable Cruelty meets Entrapment meets I Love Trouble. Going into this film, I thought I would hate it because of all the Hollywood hype, fluff and publicity. I was pleasantly surprised and delighted to have been proven SO wrong.

The Maven: Be very careful when you see this movie. The screen was smoking with sexual heat.

The Blonde: No, Mav, it’s ‘cuz you were sitting next to me! I do that to people!

The Maven: YEAH… RIGHT! When Brad and Angie first meet on screen, you feel the electric sparks. It was like Gable and Lombard, Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, but with a whole lot more libido involved! Angelina has never looked better! Brad has, but who cares. He couldn't look bad, no matter how hard he tried.

The Blonde: She is so darn sexy, poor Jennifer NEVER HAD A FIGHTING CHANCE!  FA-GED-A-BOUT- IT JEN, you lost him at their first hello! That Angelina is elegant, stunning, exquisite, glamorous, model-esque and one gorgeous creature. Now, there is no way her boobs are real and no way her lips are real, either! Those lips took up half the screen!

The Maven: That is so tacky, I won't even respond to it! I don't have a single complaint against this film. The dialogue was good, the action was fun to watch and the comedy had just the right touch.

The Blonde: APPARENTLY, SO DID BRAD! I agree it had it all…the tongue and cheek (literally) comedy, suspense, drama, non-stop action and beautiful people to gaze upon. Maven, this film also proves that you can be married to someone for 5 or 6 years, and NEVER really know them! I personally can vouch for that! I loved the sidekick, played by Vince Vaughn. I enjoyed his performance more than any other part I have seen him play. I also felt that Angelina and Brad showed more personality and were more real and fun than I have ever seen them on screen before. I think their true real life relationship and PASSION shined through here.

The Maven: Don't you think that was just respect you were seeing?

The Maven: No, but what if they are just REALLY GOOD actors?


The Maven: This is really a movie that celebrates marriage. Couples should talk and share things. Too many secrets can sour a marriage.

The Blonde: Oh, is that where I went wrong (time after time)!

The Maven: Brad and Angie's ON-SCREEN CHEMISTRY…

The Blonde: AND OFF…

The Maven: ‘Ya had ta sneak that in, didn't you? As I was saying… projects more than just heat. Their repartee is clever and their glances tell a story in itself. The attraction was so multi-faceted that it made this movie worth watching.

The Blonde: About those glances… Do you think she practices those SEXY looks in front of a mirror?

The Maven: NO, that's how I look at Brad too!

The Blonde: Yeah, he's a hunk, but I like him much better with longer hair like in Meet Joe Black. That, for me, was his VERY best look! Speaking of looks, I am sure Jennifer Aniston has some of her own staring looks for Anglelina! Not to change the subject, Maven, but why in the movies does the girl wake up in the morning beautiful with fresh makeup and hair, and a sheet perfectly draped around her body without it ever falling off (unless she wants it to). I have tried that drape trick; it never works. I look like a klutz doing it and it always falls off (which is most embarrassing when I run to answer the door)!  

The Maven: This is what you think about? I'm hoping to see Brad's butt again (like we did in Troy) and you are thinking about sheets! It doesn't work for you because you are SHORT and the sheet doesn't drape as much as much as it BUNCHES!

The Blonde: Hey, I am NOT short, I am VERTICALLY CHALLANGED!  And it doesn't bunch; it bulges!
The Maven: Got our thesaurus out, did you?

The Blonde: This has nothing to do with Jurassic Park, MAVEN!  Now, back to the film.  I found it hard to believe Angelina in the apron that she wore in so many of the scenes. Angelina in an apron is like Paris Hilton in a library!

The Maven: If you made dinner regularly after work, you would know just how handy an apron is to protect your outfit. In closing, I liked this movie! I was sad to see it end. However, the good news is marriage counseling works and that is always a plus.

The Blonde: Yeah, it never worked for me!

The Maven: I rate this movie an A for absolute chemistry and A+ writing.

The Blonde: This story has twists and turns throughout. It is action-packed, funny and romantic! To me, the talent of this film lies in the cuts and editing which made it all come to life. The editing was like a character unto itself. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a WINNER! I too rate it an A! For your snacks, I suggest some Hot Tamales candy and some Red Hots candy to go with the sizzle of the two stars! Mav, let's go get our lips done!

The Maven: No, let's go see if we can find you some shorter sheets instead.


P.S.:  Some movies to look for in the coming weeks that look terrific are, Bewitched, The 40 Year Old Virgin and In Her Shoes… See you at the movies!

P.P.S.: The Blonde and The Maven want to bid a sweet farewell to the brilliant and legendary Anne Bancroft. She will be greatly missed in both films and stage.

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