Material Girls was directed by Martha Coolidge, who first brought us Valley Girl in 1983, followed by Real Genius and, most recently, The Prince and Me. Apparently she can't seem to get very far from high school. In Material Girls, the leads are sisters Ava and Tanzie Marchetta. They inherited their father's cosmetic company and are celebrities because of it. They are beautiful, sexy and rich. The sisters don't do much in the company, as there are employees and board members who take care of everything. Ava, played by Haylie Duff (Napoleon Dynamite and Hope), is the older sister and Tanzie, played by Hilary Duff (A Cinderella Story and Raise Your Voice), is the younger sis. Just as a rival company expresses interest in buying the sisters’ cosmetic empire, a scandal erupts. The Marchetta Cosmetics Co. is now about to go belly up. That means that instead of receiving $100 million each, the sisters may now only get $60 million each for the company their father started. Boo hoo! What will the sisters do now?

The Blonde: BOO-HOO-HOO AND ANOTHER HOO! AND MAY I SAY HOO CARES! Okay, this more than silly film was like Uptown Girls meets New York Minute meets Friends with Money meets the Hilton sisters and the Olsen twins. Can we say BAD (NO TERRIBLE) ACTING?! With all the money they spent on designer wardrobe, the producers should have spent a little on acting coaches. The only thing that was believable was how spoiled these actresses must be in real life. That part did come out clear! Hey Mav, if sisters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson were offered this film, they were lucky to take a pass! Another reason I hated this awful movie was that I was the OLDEST person in the theater. I hate that. Furthermore, I don’t think our creator should have wasted perfect skin on the young. I think you should start with wrinkles and, the older you get, the less wrinkles you have. I think you should have to earn perfect skin!

The Maven: I am so embarrassed for Hilary. I know she isn't known for her stellar acting ability, but this was really bad! She and her sister looked great and their clothes were fab, but the movie was bad. Will someone please get Haylie a nose job? How can you put yourself out there as beautiful with that hook on your face? AND, what happened to Colleen Camp? She was a playmate in Apocalypse Now and a voluptuous cop in the Police Academy movies. Now she weighs as much as I do!

The Blonde: Excellent Mav, but tell us how you really feel! I am so proud of you for telling it like it is without holding back the mean parts. And stop, you have a wonderful figure! I mean one of us has to be the good cop here. You are right about the clothes. The part I found insulting about that, however, was they referred to those clothes as the charity bag clothes. How insulting is that to us real people who thought they were fab! I also must say the makeup artist and hair stylist was fantastic. It was a shame it was wasted on, simply put, bad acting.

The Maven: Let’s not even mention Angelica Houston, who looked gorgeous, by the way. The previews of this film say the girls go from rich to poor. They never really seemed very poor, did they? I can't even recommend this film for video release. I never felt anything but contempt for Ava. She was such a selfish snob that I wanted to see her lose everything. At least Tanzie had some heart to her, and I use that term very lightly. She did look good with that push-up bra, but not as good as Julia Roberts! I have nothing more to say about this movie. EXCEPT…. BLONDE… YOU OWE ME BIG TIME FOR MAKING ME SIT THROUGH THIS ONE!

The Blonde: WELL, IT WAS EITHER THIS OR THE MOVIE WITH THE SNACKS AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE SNACKS… NOT TO MENTION FLYING! SO BOTH TOGETHER IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE IN ONE MOVIE!

The Maven: I think you mean SNAKES? WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR SNACKS!

The Blonde: Ok… sorry about that type-o!

The Maven: YEAH! We all believe that was a type O! HA-HA-HA!

The Blonde: About your poor comment, WE should write our own film and show what poor is! The biggest problem with this film is all the characters were so unlikable that you didn’t care what happened to them. You actually rooted against them. I don’t agree with you about Angelica. She looked OLD and, may I say, heavy! For such a stellar actress, all I can say is that I am sorry that she was in this dreadful film! SO LET’S GET TO SOME JUICY STUFF, and I don’t mean the designer! I think John Mark Karr is a PIG, WEIRD-LOOKING, STRANGE, ODD, FREAK, and I just don’t know if I believe he killed JonBenet Ramsey!

The Maven: Even if he didn’t kill her, his actions after the fact are despicable. He was emailing Patsy Ramsey (not really, thoug,h as they were intercepted by the FBI). The man IS a SICKO!

The Blonde: I just hope we find out the truth one day, for the sake of the Ramsey family! So… I flew about a week ago and guess what?

The Maven: Okay, I’ll bite …WHAT? (LIKE, I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHOICE!)

The Blonde: It turns out “I…The Blonde” am a terrorist. They didn’t ask if I had a gun or a bomb or a knife. They just wanted to know if I had hair spray, hand cream, nail polish, lip gloss or liquids. As I stood there holding my Venti cafe latte with skim milk and seven Sweet and Lows, I said Honey… I am THE BLONDE! I HAVE ALL THAT AND MORE! I was so angry, throwing away all my newly bought cosmetics from Suforia! Not to mention, I was looked at as if I was a terrorist! I mean, what do the Hilton sisters do? Never mind, they have their own jet, silly me!

The Maven: I think you mean SEFORA. I mean GIRL, I have been buying cosmetics all my life and I never went to SUFORIA!!! I guess that was yet another type-O!

The Blonde: In fact, IT WAS! AND I ACTUALLY THINK YOU MEAN SEPHORA!!

The Maven: Sorry, I just got back from Chili’s and it was 2-for-1 happy hour!

The Blonde: Speaking of Kate Hudson, I hope she dumped her husband and really is with Owen Wilson now. I think they are perfect together.

The Maven: How can you possibly know they are perfect for each other? You don’t even know them! Is it because they are both blondes?

The Blonde: And how exactly do you KNOW that I don’t know them? They are both dear, dear friends of mine.

The Maven: Are you going to tell me that you were her babysitter? That is the only way I will believe that you know her!

The Blonde: OK…. OUCHHHHHHHH! Did you run out of your Zoloft this week? First you pick on HOOK-NOSED HAYLIE DUFF and now the poor INNOCENT BLONDE!

The Maven: It’s been years since you were innocent! Don’t forget, I KNEW YOU BACK THEN, TOO!

The Blonde: IN CLOSING…

The Maven: That is what I thought BABYSITTER!

The Blonde: I am going down to the drugstore for a Zoloft emergency!

The Maven: Oh, DO stop off at Chili’s on the way, it will help you too! I DO NOT RECOMMEND this film for anyone over 11 or under 10! Don’t catch it on cable, either! I rate it a D for dud or DUFF or WHATEVER!

The Blonde: I don’t get it? How can it be over 11 or under 10, am I missing a number?

The Maven: OH BLONDE, you are missing lots of numbers!

The Blonde: ZOLOFT, HERE I COME! I too rate Material Girls (which is actually an insult to the hit song) a D! This is truly a waste of good studio film. I like Hilary and I hope this film won’t hurt her. If you have to go, the only SNAKE I recommend is MILK DUDS! STAY HOME… TRUST US!

The Maven: SNACK... (type-o, yeah right!)