May 7 - 13, 2004 • Vol. 24 - No. 19

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Laws of Attraction
—Wow, Were We Ever Attracted!

by The Maven and The Blonde
Film Columnists

Laws of Attraction explains that love and hate run a very fine line. Two very successful divorce lawyers, played by Pierce Brosnan (Remington Steele, The Thomas Crown Affair) and Julianne Moore, (Hannibal, The Hours) are up against the fight of their careers. Neither one has ever lost a case, but they become arch rivals from the first “hello.” The film tries to get interesting, when Daniel Rafferty (Brosnan) and Audrey Woods (Moore) defend their famous clients, played by Parker Posey and Michael Sheen in their divorce. After a night of inebriation, while researching their case in Ireland, they awaken stunned to find themselves married and in a major dilemma. Their personal lives and the trial have now intertwined to become most complicated. We would love to tell you more, but that’s the whole storyline, folks!

The Blonde: This film was like Intolerable Cruelty meets “Judge Judy” meets Riverdance. So charming, versatile, witty, sexy, and classy—not the movie, but Pierce Brosnan. Talk about eye-candy and delicious without the calories. I felt as if I were running for miles on a treadmill, that's how much his looks took my breath away.

The Maven: Oh, I just thought you were having a hot flash.
The Blonde: I'm not as old as you, Maven. Anyway, I liked Julianne better in her previous comedy, 9 1/2 Weeks.

The Maven: That was Kim Basinger, Duh! Julianne was in 9 Months. Moving right along…what a joy to see two beautiful people, Brosnan and Moore together on screen. I couldn’t get enough of them. The movie itself was weak, but it shouldn’t have been. All the elements were there for the making of a great movie. There was comedy, romance, conflict, and amazing scenery. I just kept thinking that something was missing.

The Blonde: Yeah, a good story! But seriously, let me ask you a question. Didn’t Moore look a little too freckly, and just simply put, plain? I mean really!

The Maven: Gee, your claws seem to be showing!
The Blonde: I know! I didn’t have a chance to get my manicure this week. I also thought her hair looked frizzy!

The Maven: I love Julianne’s hair, her body is perfect, her acting is believable, and her complexion is peaches and cream.
The Blonde: Ok, but is she really happy? You can have her, I’ll take Pierce. Here's another point. Why, in all my divorces, was there never a lawyer that looked even remotely as handsome as Brosnan?

The Maven: Well, you can keep trying!  I found Laws of Attraction mildly enjoyable, but I never felt connected to the story. The characters were the only story. I give this movie a C.

The Blonde: I found Pierce Brosnan totally enjoyable. His presence kept me glued to the screen and captivated my heart. The movie, however, would have failed without him, and, if I have to admit it, her, too. This is a perfect example of how star power and casting can make or break the success of a film. This picture was easy to watch but weak, and not a comedy classic. I give Laws of Attraction a C-. I give Pierce an A+ for his looks alone. You won’t even need the popcorn and candy; he truly is sweet enough.

The Maven: Speak for yourself; I never go without my popcorn!


Godsend—Was it Really?

The Godsend takes viewers through a journey of human cloning and its consequences. Although a compelling idea, it reminds us of the old adage, “It’s not wise to fool with Mother Nature.” This picture is about a devoted couple: Paul Duncan played by Greg Kinnear (You’ve Got Mail, As Good as it Gets) and his wife Jessie Duncan, played by Rebecca-Romijn-Stamos (X Men, The Punisher). The plot starts immediately, when their son Adam, played by Cameron Bright (The Butterfly Effect), is tragically killed the day after his eighth birthday. At their lowest grieving point, they were mysteriously approached by one of Jessie’s old college professors. Dr. Robert Wells, played by Robert De Niro (if you don't know who he is, “Forget about it,”) offers them both an immoral and illegal solution to their tragedy. The desperate couple chooses to secretly use an advanced technique of cloning that will impregnate Jessie with Adam’s D. N. A. The experiment is a success, and Adam is brought back into their lives. Everything progresses smoothly for the next eight years. Then, at the exact time of his past death, the nightmare begins again for Paul and Jessie. Adam’s night terrors, visions, and flashbacks obsess the boy and he begins to behave oddly. He becomes evil, and at times, even appears to be another person. Maybe he is?

The Blonde: This movie was like The Omen meets The Sixth Sense meets both Jon Edwards and Shirley McClain. I had enough trouble and aggravation raising my children the first time. But twice, and through cloning—that is crazy. If the thought of stem cell research bothers you in the slightest, than you really won’t like this dark story. The topic is quite interesting, though.

The Maven: But, if you want to see a movie that will spark endless discussion, this is it.

The Blonde: You’re right. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all the way home. Wasn’t there a song called “Send in the Clones”?

The Maven: Oh you poor, sweet, blonde!  Clowns, “Send in the Clowns.” As I was saying, Godsend tiptoes around ethics and morality to focus more on the “omen-like” disturbances the family experiences.

The Blonde: But that’s just it. If the doctor performed an honest cloning, and these experimentations could actually occur, then I feel this type of technology and scientific study can be unbelievably beneficial to the world.

The Maven: Is that your practice speech for the Miss America Pageant?
The Blonde: No, silly, that one was on world peace!

The Maven: Not to change the subject, but I kept having the feeling Robert De Niro could have stolen this movie, but didn’t. It seemed like he was not happy appearing in this film.

The Blonde: It wasn’t a typical De Niro film. I mean, no mob guys anywhere. I have to say, though, that Rebecca is the reason why plastic surgeons are so busy. She is the perfect physical woman.

The Maven: Well, aside from you, that is.

The Blonde: Awww! You are the Maven! One more thing, I really didn’t like the ending. It leaves you hanging and confused. I need closure to a film.
The Maven: Do you even know what closure means?

The Blonde: Of course I do! It’s kind of like a divorce, without the alimony and child-support.

The Maven: In closing, I am confused about how to rate Godsend. On one hand, it kept me on the edge of my seat. On the other hand, there were too many holes. I reluctantly give it a C.     

The Blonde: I’m proud of you for being tough! In spite of my blonde reputation, I don’t know if I liked the movie or not. It was directed well, a fascinating story, kept my interest, but too abstract for the mainstream moviegoer. I don’t feel comfortable recommending this film to people who are not open to unusual horror type movies. I give it a C- and advise you pick an easy to eat candy.

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