—Obviously, Not Cool
the Maven and the Blonde
Cool might leave you a little cold. From the beginning,
you realize that everyone in the film knows sequels
aren't as good as the originals. John Travolta (Pulp
Fiction and Get Shorty), reprising his role as the
ever-cool Chili Palmer, is driving with his old Brooklyn
buddy Tommy Athens, played by James Wood (John Q and The
Specialist), now a record producer—lucky him he got to
die early on in the film to go act in a better one.
Chili is disillusioned with the movie biz and having to
make sequels. Tommy wants Chili to make a movie about
his life in the music biz centering on a dazzling new
singer Linda Moon, portrayed by Christina Milian (Torque
and music videos). Chili, not very interested in the
movie idea, is however intrigued by the idea of the
music business. Unfortunately, Tommy is then shot dead
on the street and Chili sees the whole incident. That
evening, Chili checks out the singer Tommy was telling
him about and discovers she is as good as his friend
said she was. He quickly decides to manage her career,
even though she is already signed to a contract with
another old acquaintance of his, Nick Carr, played by
Harvey Keitel (National Treasure and The Piano). Chili
now needs an established record company, so he meets up
with Tommy's widow Edie, played by the one and only Uma
Thurman (Kill Bill 1 & 2 and Pulp Fiction). Now, the
dynamic duo goes forward on a mission to launch Linda's
career. Unfortunately, in their way are the Russian
Mafia, gangsta rappers, a pimp-obsessed music manager, a
gay actor wanna-be bodyguard and, of course, police
detectives. Now, just add to that the fact that everyone
except the police want to kill Chili. Steven Tyler and
Aerosmith play a part in the drama, too.
was written by Peter Steinfeld, who also wrote Analyze
That. Maybe he should have spent more time analyzing
this script before filming it! Director F. Gary Gray
also directed A Man Apart, The Negotiator and The
Italian Job. Well, everyone has a bad film now and then!
The Blonde: I think that a producer should
read a script a couple of times before rushing into a
sequel, just to make some cool cash! This film was way
over the top and missed every mark. I will state what it
was like, but make no mistake that the other movies were
good ones! Be Cool was like Get Shorty meets Pulp
Fiction meets Goodfellas meets Friday meets “The Three
Stooges”! I truly feel that John Travolta SHOULD “do
lunch” with Tom Hanks to learn how to pick a GOOD film.
What a disappointment after last week's film! The best
part of this movie was Uma Thurman's body!
Maven: Okay, be honest! Tell us how you really think!
While I don't think this is the best movie ever, I did
have a good time watching it. Early on, I knew I was in
on the joke; sequels are never as good as the original.
Blonde: Tell that to the writers of Shrek—both times up
for the Oscars! Exactly what part of this film did you
have a good time watching? Did I go to the ladies’ room
at this point?
Maven: I enjoyed Vince Vaughn as an over-the-top PIMP
wanna-be. He was funny and a little scary, with his
sociopath-type tendencies. The Rock was so against type
as a gay bodyguard.
Blonde: The only part of this movie I enjoyed was
watching Aerosmith. I love them! I can't wait for them
to come to town! I only wished they sang more. It would
have eaten up more of the movie time and, for sure, kept
my interest longer! SOOOO, MARTHA, MARTHA, MARTHA! YEA!
SHE'S OUT OF THE CLINKER! That is much more exciting to
talk about than this dumb movie!
I understand she was planning to do some gardening, but
Christopher Stanton, the chief U.S. probation officer in
Manhattan, says she is under home confinement and
therefore not allowed to work in her garden. Can you
imagine the threat she may impose working in her
Blonde: Hey, she could be the next “serial stock-market
gardener killer”! Is that true? I thought that the
grounds were considered her home. Maybe she should learn
a thing from the movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman and
put the ankle unit around one of her dogs! Well. at any
rate, I am rooting for Martha and a brilliant
Maven: I'm with you on that!
Blonde: Hey Maven, why the heck did you pinch my nose
and breathe in my mouth during the movie?
Maven: I was giving you mouth to mouth, I thought you
Blonde: I was snoring, for goodness sakes. Back off!
Next time, just bring me some coffee!
Maven: Oh well, than you answered your own question. You
slept through all the fun-to-watch parts! TOO BAD!
Blonde, did you hear about the latest so-called Happiest
Hollywood couple getting separated—Denise Richards and
Maven: Well, she's pregnant with their second child, and
he's already moved out!
Blonde: Well, good for him!
Maven: The pre-nup pays off if he cheats on her,
and rumor has it that he did!
Blonde: WHAT A GUY!
Maven: And poor Martha Stewart is locked up in her
billion-dollar ranch. What a world!
Blonde: I would say “boo-hoo,” but I like her too
Maven: Now back to the film, if you didn't see Get
Shorty, don't worry. I missed it, too. This movie stands
alone on its own.
Blonde: NO, this movie falls down alone on its own! Ga-
Maven: Ha ha… Just don't take it too seriously. I rate
it a C for cool.
Blonde: Don't take it at all! This film was cliché,
uninteresting, badly done, and just plain boring. I
suggest you save your money and miss it! I rate Be Cool
a D for dumb! I recommend, if you do go, for your snacks
eat some Milk Duds as this movie was a big DUD. This
great candy might make up for this bad movie! Maven,
Martha may not be able to leave the house for more than
48 hours a week, but she can receive all the company she
wants. So let's go to her house and bring her a basket
of cookies and Starbucks….
Maven: Okay, but we better follow her cookie recipe
Blonde: Or what, she'll put us in Martha
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