March 4 - 10, 2005• Vol. 26 - No. 08

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Diary of a Mad Black Woman
—Mad…but Tender, Sweet and Funny
by the Blonde and the Maven
Film Columnists

The hilarious Diary of a Mad Black Woman was directed by Darren Grant, who previously directed music videos. Much more impressive is the writer, Tyler Perry, a playwright and burlesque character actor who has developed a major following on stage. If that doesn't impress you, how about the fact that he plays three of the film’s main characters—Brian, Joe and Madea? He also composed the music which enhanced the story! Now are you impressed? We definitely were.

The film begins by showing us a look into the life of Charles, a successful Atlanta attorney who seems to have it all. His perfect life includes a very lucrative career working in a top law firm, adoring Helen, his beautiful, faithful, loving wife, living in a huge mansion estate that included swimming pools and tennis courts, having the latest fashions, driving the finest cars and possessing more money than he can spend in a lifetime. Just five minutes into the story, we see Helen, played by Kimberly Elise (The Manchurian Candidate and John Q) being told by her husband of 18 years that he wants a divorce. Charles, portrayed by Steve Harris (Bringing Down the House and Minority Report), explains all of this in the most cruel and heartless manner, with his mistress and the mother of his two children (that Helen knows nothing about) by his side. Hence, you hate him immediately as well as Brenda, played by Lisa Marcos (film debut). Helen is completely thrown for a loop. Charles literally and physically throws Helen out of the house. He hires a moving man and van to collect her possessions and drive her anywhere she wants to go. She is forced to leave the estate, all the riches and the marriage, and put her shambled life back together. She never knew any other life with any other man but Charles, so she naturally feels angry and lost. Assisting Helen on her journey into the real world is her family and friends that she was forced to give up to be with snobby Charles, as well as her religious faith. She goes to her beloved grandmother Madea's house. Madea is a gun-toting, high spirited, gutsy, not afraid of the law in any way, and oh so wonderful character. The movie is filled with big laughs, lots of obstacles in relationships and you might just shed a few tears of endearment.

The Blonde: Can I begin by stating how much I enjoyed this film?! I know there are many great films through history, and this wasn't one of them, but it certainly was one of the best times I have ever had at the movies. Diary of a Mad Black Woman was like Waiting to Exhale meets The First Wives Club meets War of the Roses. ‘Ya know Maven, it is so hard typing because my neck and back are out and I am in so much pain.

The Maven: What did you do?

The Blonde: …

The Maven: When will I ever learn! What a great revenge fantasy. That scene where Madea decides to divide everything in the house in half…wow, I loved it. She was the best comic relief in a movie that I've seen in a long time. I wish she was in all the scenes.

The Blonde: Without a question, her character stole this film. Having said that, however, all the characters were delicious and well-developed, except for the horrible husband. You could identify with all of them. This film was so well written, well paced, with a wonderful story in the middle of all of the comedy. They showed comedy situations that you would love to see yourself do in real life but would never actually follow through with, like the dog scene, the closet scene, the wire hangers scene. ‘Ya know Mav, I kept a diary for 15 years!

The Maven: I don't care! The character Charles was so over the top that at first I didn't appreciate where they were going with him. The movie needed that caricature of awfulness to balance out how pitiful Helen's innocence really was. Steve Harris is great at playing a rat-bastard. He did it so well in Bringing Down the House, too.

The Blonde: I didn't think he was over the top at all. I was married to a Charles! I found out the hard way where he was going with that!

The Maven: Tyler Perry is the bomb. Did you know that was HIS house that they filmed the moviein?  Originally, he wrote the play Diary of a Mad Black Woman and it had a successful run.

The Blonde:  I suppose so. That was some estate! I enjoyed seeing Cicely Tyson play such a soft spoken, kind character. She was marvelous. I loved the line she tells Helen to let go of her anger for Charles, for if you don't, he still controls you. How true! I also loved that Helen's family rallied around her and welcomed her back with open arms, even through she turned her back on them years ago.

The Maven: Well, one thing I know for sure, I would never have turned my back on Shemar Moore. What a hunk!

The Blonde: AGREED!  You could just melt into his eyes. Where are the romantic guys in real life like his character Orlando? What guy looks into the eyes of a woman and says, “I know I can love you past your pain” and “All you have to do is wake up in the morning and I will take it from there”? Do any real life men speak to their woman this way?

The Maven: Maybe YOU should have paid more attention to YOUR moving guys the 12 times you moved all over the country!

The Blonde: TOTAL TOUCHE'!

The Maven: Remember a man wrote this film. There's some food for thought!

The Blonde:  I also want to comment on Kimberly's wonderful performance in this film. She was believable, sweet and real. By the way, I am grateful for one thing: the Queen and the other Windsors will not be attending the wedding ceremony on April 8. I respect that. Did you find out yet if the party favors the Queen is giving away are tiaras?

The Maven: I'll let you know as soon as she calls me back.

The Blonde: Cool!

The Maven: Blonde, when Paris Hilton's “side-kick” was hacked and phone numbers were listed on the Internet, were you hounded by prank phone calls?

The Blonde: Well, as you know Mav, Paris and I are great pals, but my phone lines were too busy as I was speaking with all of the Oscar hopefuls!

The Maven: UH-HUH? Whatever you say! Is it hard living in "Blonde-Land"?

The Blonde: But, what do you mean?

The Maven: It's okay, I'm sure I will be FORCED to read ALL 15 years of YOUR diary's this week and I will find out for myself. This film will inspire you to shout out at the screen. Feel free to do it. Don't take it too seriously, though. I know that carrying a loaded handgun isn't politically correct but just go with it. Trust me, it WAS funny! I rate this film an A for awesomely inspiring. It inspired me during a bad day to remember the days that are good and wish that I had Madea to help me with the days that aren't.

The Blonde: This film gives us all hope! It was truly a feel good movie. It makes you realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is a rainbow peeking through every cloud and that there can be a happy ending for all of us!

The Maven: I'll be right back. I have to go vomit now!

The Blonde: While you're getting up, bring me back a coffee!  This film squeezed my heart, made me laugh and made me cry. I enjoyed every second. Even though most of the critics panned it, I loved it and think our readers will, too!  This simple, sweet, LITTLE movie called Diary of a Mad Black Woman I happily rate an A!  For your movie snacks, I suggest you eat all the sweets that you love the most. This is a film that IS WORTH THE CALORIES!  

The Maven: Hey Blonde, MARTHA'S GETTING OUT SOON! Should we go to K-Mart before they raise the prices on her merchandise?

The Blonde: Absa-Martha-lutely!  Let’s go!

The Blonde, the Maven
and the Oscars


Well movie-goers, WE Nailed IT!...except for the special effects category. So NOW you can trust the Blonde and the Maven from EN&V for all our reviews!

The Blonde: Maven, was it me or was this year’s Oscar ceremony a tad boring? It felt like the big wigs tied Chris Rock’s hands on the comedy and how much he was allowed to do?

The Maven: Boring? It was so obvious that the ABC censors forced Gil Cates to keep the show tame. It ended up being the worst Oscar show yet.

The Blonde: As far as I was concerned, the highlight of the show was BARBARA showing up, and watching sexy Antonio Banderas sing!


The Blonde:  Hilary Swank for her classy, simple and elegant style. Laura Linney was gorgeous. Kate Winslet for her stunning gown, hair and courage to wear a daring color! I know you didn't think so, Mav, but I thought CateBlanchett looked movie-star beautiful. Oprah Winfrey looked skinny and classy in her gown, but she did look very tired.
The Maven:  Speaking of terrible, Blonde, Renee Zellweger looked hideous!
The Blonde:  Oh, I agree, too skinny, just to make her point after last year’s Oscars being heavy for Bridget Jones. Her hair and color were way too harsh; simply horrible! Talk about two Spanish beauties, kudos for Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, role model beautiful! For the very first time at the Oscars finally, Gwyneth Paltrow looked positively fairytale beautiful. Julia Roberts, as usual, looked elegant and even better now that she is breastfeeding for two! Charlize Theron was breathtaking and so was her main man Stuart Townsend! Even though Melanie Griffith had on a lovely dress, she seriously needs to stop with the plastic surgery. Her boobs are now too big for her body and her lips are falling off her face!
The Maven:  Hey, Blonde, don't be so mean!
The Blonde:  Sorry! As far as the men are concerned, Antonio looked so hot, but then he always does! Chris Rock looked great and Oscar appropriate. Jamie Foxx couldn't have looked classier! Leonardo DiCaprio looked like a Greek God and oh so movie-star handsome. Maven, I thought that John Travolta looked better than I have ever seen him, but where was his wife?
The Maven:  I don't know, Blonde, but I love Johnny Depp so much and I just wonder why he went out of his way to look so terrible? Maybe it's a French thing!
The Blonde:  GOOD ONE, Mav!

The Blonde:  What is up with Star Jones and her ego? Maven, her hair was ugly and as far as her dress was concerned, it fit terribly and looked like she pulled down her grandma’s old curtains.
The Maven:  Blonde, I thought it looked more like a tablecloth, and her earrings were the napkin rings!
The Blonde:  You’re right! She did such a terrible reporting job to boot! All about her and not the stars! However, Kathy Griffin looked and did a terrific job. Funny lady Kathy actually saved the red carpet show!  Poor Annette Benning, this was her second chance for an Oscar and both times she lost to Hilary Swank. One more comment, Maven, I really felt it was wrong to have one person sing three of five nominated songs, no matter how good the person is. It is a conflict of interest and took away from the excitement, glitz and entertainment aspect of the show!
The Maven:  Blonde, I agree and I was upset that they hired a comedian like Chris Rock to host and entertain, but yet they wouldn't allow him to do just that. Maven, Johnny Carson never would have stood for that! Poor Robin Williams had to put tape on his mouth to remind himself of all the things he was not permitted to say. Too bad he would have been able to get a lot more laughs!

The Blonde:  Well, all in all, movie-goers, even though the show was uneventful, after all is said and done (of the nominated people and movies), we do believe that ALL of the Oscars did go to the right people this year!

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