Ted: The Movie Review
Author(s): Blonde and Brunette
Editor: Sam Smith
Published: August 12, 2012




The story takes place in Boston and is about John Bennett starring Mark
Wahlberg (The Fighter, 2010) who as a grown man, must separate from
boyhood to manhood by breaking ties with his beloved Teddy Bear, Ted,
who was brought to life through a childhood wish and hasn’t left
Bennett’s side through an oath made many years ago. Now Bennett must
choose between his love interest, Lori Collins played by Mila Kunis
(Friends with Benefits, 2010) and his lifelong friend, Ted.  The
storyline continues as Rex, Lori’s boss, who is played by Joel McHale
(Spiderman 2, 2004) makes a play to win her over from John.  Also,
Giovanni Ribisi (The Rum Diary, 2011) plays Donny, the crazed stalker
who vows to get Ted for Aedin Mincks (Hangover II, 2010) as Robert his
destructive, bullying son.

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THE BLONDE: I had a ball at this film. I literally laughed for 2 hours straight. It is funny as hell and clever too, but… not very politically correct in any way possible and way out of the box with bad language non- stopLOVED IT! !!! I must admit I wanna Teddy of my very own!

THE BRUNETTE: As for me, Ted is not my kind of movie. However, like The Blonde, the audience seemed to love it as well. It did seem to provide an escape…

THE BLONDE:  Well, when I see a packed movie theatre with everyone laughing in today’s troubled world and economy, this film seems to hit home and provides the audience with just what they want. Keep in mind Brunette, Ted is truly for a younger demographic than your age.

THE BRUNETTE: Oh get real, my age??? Furthermore, hits home? Seriously? The film is about a stuffed teddy bear for goodness sakes!

THE BLONDE: Yes, you have a problem with this? I talk to my Teddy bear all the time.

THE BRUNETTE: Yea that’s right… isn’t that your X! Or you’re XX! Either way, he was real.

THE BLONDE: MEOW, harsh!  Too real if you ask me! Moving along Teddy bear lane, I loved Mila Kunis in this film. I actually, love everything she has ever been in. She is gorgeous, believable, and a great actress who is fun to watch on screen. Her career is just taking off and I expect great things from her. I bet she has a Teddy or two. I bet she wears them to bed as well.

I thought the announcer of the movie kind of stole the show a bit. He was so perfect changing from fairytale voice to reality voice. This part of the movie was very witty and well done.

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THE BRUNETTE: More than the stuffed Teddy, I wouldn’t mind taking Mark Wahlberg to sleep with me. I am surprised that an actor of his caliber would even make a film like this. But, he did do a wonderful job and played a great straight man to the bear. This shows just how versatile his acting skills really are. Although, I do admit, this is a great film to see high or smashed.

THE BLONDE: Oh please, like you get high! Do people your age do that anyway?

THE BRUNETTE: Who do you think stared it, babe?

THE BLONDE: Whatever, babe!!!

THE BRUNETTE: FYI, Seth Macfarlane, who is the voice of Ted, wrote and directed the film. More FYI, he is also, the creator of the Family Guy cartoon television show. On another note, Macfarlane got in serious trouble about the Lou Gehrigs Disease reference from the ALS. It really isn’t a disease you joke about.

THE BLONDE: Well, which disease can you joke about then? I said this film was NOT politically correct.

THE BRUNETTE: I felt this was totally a guy movie. The film addresses little boy fantasies that all men wish to have freely in realty. For example, hanging with your teddy bear, getting high, skipping work, watching sports all day, partying, loose woman and so on.

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THE BLONDE: Yes, and you have a problem with this?
I still want a live Teddy. I loved Teddy. He was adorable.

THE BRUNETTE: Please, don’t tell me you thought the bear was sexy?

THE BLONDE: YES, in a teddy bear sort of way.

THE BRUNETTE: You really are sick!

THE BLONDE: Define sick?

THE BRUNETTE: NO! Ok yes, this movie!

THE BLONDE: No it is not! It’s just fun and entertaining!  That’s it, I am going to buy you a teddy bear for your birthday and maybe it will become real for you too and then you will get it!!!!

THE BRUNETTE: How about a Starbuck’s gift card instead. Well, on second thought, you could just buy me the teddy night wear.

THE BLONDE: I will not be mean… I will stay silent instead….

THE BRUNETTE: Wow, that’s not like you at all! The Teddy bear thing might be a good influence on you after all.

THE BLONDE: See, you get it now!
I don’t want to forget about the music in the film. It was not only excellent but very different than what would be obvious in a film such as this, but, it worked perfectly.

THE BRUNETTE: I have to agree with you there. So, for the silly film that it was, the acting by all was terrific including the accents and the bear’s facial features.

THE BLONDE: What was amazing was how the actors made you buy into the fact that the bear was real. I still believe it…

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THE BRUNETTE: You would!
The fun cameo performances by Ryan Reynolds, Tom Skerritt and Norah Jones are worth mentioning. 

THE BLONDE: Well, if I can’t have the Teddy, then I want Ryan!!! It’s only fair, and I think you will agree, he’s very real!

THE BRUNETTE: Yes, he is, but the chance of you getting him isn’t!

THE BLONDE: Ouch, ouch, and ouch!!!

THE BRUNETTE: As a critic, I have to be honest here. This is not a classic film! It’s basically a shock factor, party flick. I rate it a C- and I am being very nice!!!!
Wait to see it on cable.

THE BLONDE: I can’t disagree more. I think Ted is so much fun. I say, if you are between the ages of 16 and 35 like I am, you too will love it. I recommend a bucket of popcorn and Gummy Bears. I rate this Film a C+ but an A for fun and entertainment value. Go see it and laugh.

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