Rock Of Ages Movie Review
Author(s): Blonde and Brunette
Editor: Sam Smith
Published: August 10, 2012

              ROCK OF AGES

By: The Blonde and The Brunette

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This American Musical Comedy was directed by Adam Shankman, (Hairspray, 2007) and based on the Chris D’Arienzo 2006 Broadway Musical. The all star cast of characters include Julianne Hough (Burlesque, 2010) as Sherrie Christian and Diego Boneta (TV, Pretty Little Liars), who develop a romantic interest when boy meets girl.  Alec Baldwin (It’s Complicated, 2009) plays Dennis Dupree, the Bourbon Room club owner; and Russell Brand (Arthur, 2011) his club manager, Lonny Barnett, whose only way to save the financially struggling club from being closed down is to bring in the musical talent of the epitome of rock and roll, Stacee Jaxx, played by Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible 4, 2011).  Catherine Zeta-Jones (The Terminal, 2004) is the Mayors wife, Patricia Whitmore, who wants to close the Bourbon Room and all its sinful ways. “Rock of Ages” attempts to bring the theatre production into an on location movie depicting the rock scene in the 1980's through costume, music, innocent and not so innocent camaraderie and shenanigans that will provide 2 hours and 3 minutes of comic musical entertainment for.

The Blonde: I will get back to the film later. All I can talk about when I think of the film, “Rock of Ages” is the performance by Tom Cruise. “Can we talk” “are you kidding me”, “seriously”, “get out of town and “shut the front door”! Tom rocked this film. Before I went to see the film, I put down so badly the idea of Cruise in this part. “Can’t they get a REAL rocker for the role!!! Tom Cruise is no rocker… … please!!! I could not wait to pan him in this role. Couldn’t they get Bon Jovi or a real singer???  I was so upset, that I was not even going to see the film!!!! I was going to ban going to it. However, the Brunette made me go, she was relentless!!!! I went kicking and screaming the whole way there!  Well MUD ON MY FACE!!!!! Big time mud!

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Tom was incredible, amazing, stellar, and rocked this role of a lifetime. He prepared with singing lessons, studied and the whole deal to become Stacee Jaxx.  He not only sang extraordinarily great, he acted the part and looked the part to perfection. Wow Tom, I have a new found belief in you!!!! My bad, sorry Mr. Cruise!!!

The Brunette: Wow, as much as I hate to totally agree with The Blonde (And I do), I have to agree with everything she said. I thought Tom was outstanding and tapped into various performers such as Mick Jaegger, Bon Jovi, Axl Rose, Steven Tyler and Keith Richards and on and on and on! He really surprised me. I expected Tom to be the weakest link. I was really taken back.

The Blonde: I thought the film was fun to watch and quite entertaining. This film adaptation from the Broadway show of the same name, really translated onto film, which is quite rare for me. The casting was great and most of the acting as well. However,

The Brunette: STOP, THE PRESSES. I AM GOING TO INTERUPT! You cannot EVER take a stage production and make it work on film on locations.

The Blonde: WRONG!!! WRONG, WRONG. I completely disagree with you here, Brunettey!!!! Take for example Chicago, Evita, Lion King and Sweeney Todd and on and on!

The Brunette: Brunettey? Brunettey?  My, aren’t we getting personnel? I thought Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough displayed quite a romantic chemistry.

The Blonde: Oh please, who wouldn’t find chemistry with Diego?? The guy is a total hunk! Although he is a star in Mexico, his American film debut in Rock of Ages will put him on the American star map now for sure! He is Sooo sexy. WE met him at the Cinema Con Film Festival in Las Vegas in April and he is not only a great singer and actor but a humble hunk as well. He received the Rising Sar of 2012 Award at the Cinema Con Big Screen Achievement Awards.

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As far as Julianne is concerned, her acting nailed it but sorry, her singing missed the mark for me. Although she is gorgeous, and an awesome singer and dancer, she held back and kept this icky, sticky, sweet baby doll persona in her songs and her singing the entire film and I found annoying.

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The Brunette: I see what the Blondey is referring to, but that could be due to the musical directors instructions or the way she interpreted the role itself. What bothered me more than that was her hair! This story takes place in the 80’s and her hair was totally current. More hair, bigger hair, bring on the hair was the style of the 80’s and where were the huge shoulder pads???? Even the guys had sideburns.

The Blonde: Let’s move on to Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin shall we? I adored Russell in this film. His character, Lonny Barnett was so very likeable and so was Russell. He was perfect for the role. My only negative comment was he is such a great singer, I wished he had a chance to shine with a solo song… As far as Alec, he was perfect as Dennis Dupree and Kudos to him for allowing his sexy self to look so grungy and not so debonair.  Hey Alec, you should do more singing?

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The Brunette: As for me, I thought they stole the movie. There was so much movie magic chemistry going on with their characters, themselves as actors and their plight to save the bar. Readers, you will love the unexpected surprise storyline between these two characters. Very funny and they pulled off so well. They gave the film its lighter side. Now about Catherine Zeta-Jones playing Patricia Whitmore,

The Blonde: STOP, THE PRESSES. I AM GOING TO INTERUPT Now! I love Catherine in every film she has ever made. She stole the movie Chicago and even won an Oscar for it. However, She seriously did not pull it off here. Her acting was so over the top, she drove me mad and I found her so irritating every time she appeared on screen. It was not the character Patricia’s fault, although she was an idiot, Catherine was just toooo much. Sorry, I normally love ya girl.

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The Brunette: Ditto! Catherine was cast perfectly as the Mayors wife. She not only looked the part and portrayed the character, but fell WAY short when she sang and danced Patricia. She is truly a great singer and dancer making this role hard to watch and accept.

The Blonde: Let’s not forget Mary J. Blige who rocked her role as Justice Charlier. What a fabulous opportunity for her to be back on screen. Her acting and vocals were by far the best female performance this film offers as far as I am concerned. What a talent! I also, want to note that Malin Akerman playing Jaxx’s love interest was great. She presented on screen perfection and a believable performance.

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The Brunette:  Totally. Their roles brought the sexy and the burlesque into the film to add excitement for the guys. Furthermore, Paul Giamatti as Paul Gill (Jaxx’s manager), plays the love to hate character and he did just that. 

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The Blonde: What a putz his character is. But actually, that’s the way the managers of the day truly were and some still are. I love Paul and hate when he plays the bad guy…dun dun dun……

The Brunette:   In closing,, to be honest I am a bit torn about this film. On one hand the story was wonderful, but, some of the performances, directing and costumes were questionable for me. The music was great and do recommend that you pick up the sound track. But I can’t be wild about giving this a terrific rating. So I give this film a C+, sorry Director Adam Shankman.

The BlondeWell, I think for the very first time I will rate a film higher than the Brunette!! I thought this film was all around good and fun to watch. In addition, I am smitten with Tom Cruises performance. He stole and owned this movie artistically. Go see Rock of Ages and have fun with it. Don’t forget to bring some rock candy! I rate Rock of Ages a B and rate Tom an A+.