Feature



Alice In Wonderland Review
Author(s): Robin Roth
Editor: Mark Lewis
Published: March 12, 2010

ALICE IN WONDERLAND REVIEW

 

 

BY: THE BLONDE AND THE BRUNETTE

 

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What do you get if you take a classic story, add a new continuing story version with the main child character 13 years older into adulthood, bring back all the classic characters and put them into an imaginary 3 D IMAX world of adventure, Tim Burton's " Alice in Wonderland".  This magical Lewis Carroll story is once again drawing the crowds back into an adult childhood story.  Even Tim Burton's dark side was not too extreme for this English mystical tour down the rabbit hole.  This Disney production brings a star studded cast of  Mia Wasikowska (Ameila 2009) as Alice; award winning Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd 2007) as the Mad Hatter; Helena Bonham Carter (Harry Potter 2009) as the Red Queen; and Anne Hathaway (Valentines Day 2010) as the White Queen; and others into their acting heights.  Watch Alice find her dreams come true and she gets her happy ending....

 

 

THE BLONDE:  FIRST MIGHT I BEGIN BY SAYING TO YOU DEAR BRUNETTE, “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD”!!  WOW, I HAVE WANTED TO SAY THAT EXACT STATEMENT TO MANY A MAN IN MY DAY…. MOVING RIGHT ALONG… THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THIS FILM WAS JOHNNY JOHNNY JOHNNY. HE WAS AT HIS DEPP-IEST… I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE WAY HIS CHARACTER LOOKED. I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO THINK OF ANOTHER ACTOR WHO COULD HAVE PLAYED THIS ROLE IN SUCH A CONVINCING AND UNIQUE WAY.  WHEN YOU NEED A CHARACTER ACTOR IN HOLLYWOOD THESE DAYS, EVERYONE SEEMS TO RUN TO JOHNNY AND IT IS NO WONDER WHY.

 

THE BRUNETTE:  MAY I KINDLY RETURN YOUR QUOTE RIGHT BACK AT YA, “OFF WITH YOUR BLONDE HEAD AND YOUR DARK ROOTS SO BADLY OF NEEDING ATTENTION”.

 

THE BLONDE: OUCH!!!

 

THE BRUNETTE: GROWING UP WITH THIS STORY, I FOUND THE NEXT CHAPTER IN ALICE ’S LIFE MOST INTRUGUING. IT WAS FUN FOR ME TO SEE THIS STORY CONTINUED AS ALICE GREW INTO WOMANHOOD.  IT WAS CLEVER HOW THEY WENT FROM REALITY TO FANTASY AND MADE IT ALL BELIEVABLE. 

 

THE BLONDE:  I SOMEWHAT AGREE WITH THE BRUNETTE. HOWEVER, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MADE THIS STORY NOT FOR CHILDREN. IT WAS MORE OF A MATURE AUDIENCE ALICE IN WONDERLAND. IT WAS DARK AT TIMES AND I FELT WAY TOO SCARY FOR A CHILD UNDER 8.

I MIGHT ADD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH LIVING IN A WORLD OF FANTASY? THAT IS MY DAILY GOAL…. I’M JUST SAYIN……

 

THE BRUNETTE: WELL, NOW THAT CERTAINLY EXPLAINS A LOT ! 

 

THE BLONDE: HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR ZOLOFT TODAY????

I THOUGHT THIS FILM WAS STUNNNING AND COLORFUL AT TIMES. THE 3-D I-MAX EXPERIENCE DID ENHANCE THE BEAUTY AND STORY GREATLY. THE RED QUEEN PLAYED BY HELENA BONHAM CARTER WAS STELLAR AS ALWAYS. HELENA IS ALSO, ONE OF THOSE ACTORS WHO IS ALWAYS VERSATILE AND EXCITING TO WATCH ON SCREEN. WHAT A BIG HEAD SHE HAD???

 

THE BRUNETTE: LOOK WHO’S TALKING!

 

THE BLONDE: OK, THAT’S IT!  WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY SWEET, ANGELIC, LITTLE BRUNETTE TODAY? DID YOU BREAK A NAIL OR SOMETHING?  

 

THE BRUNETTE:  SORRY I LOST MY HEAD… YOU DID GIVE THE COMMAND.

 SORRY!

 

THE BLONDE: NO WORRIES… BY THE WAY, I JUST LOVED YOUR DESIGNER GLASSES YOU WERE SPORTING AT THE FILM… AND BY THE WAY, YELLOW IS YOUR COLOR!

 

THE BRUNETTE: I WOULD SAY OFF WITH YOUR HEAD HERE, BUT WHERE IS YOUR HEAD? THOSE WERE THE 3-D GLASSES! 

 

THE BLONDE: OHHHHHHHHH… NO WONDER EVERYTHING WAS SO BLURRY, NEVER MIND!

SPEAKING OF COSTUMES, COLLEEN ATWOOD NAILED IT. THEY WERE ACTUALLY THE SECOND BEST PART OF THIS FILM. HER DESIGNS WERE BRILLIANTLY CREATIVE, YET STICKING WITH THE ERA AND ORIGINAL STORYLINE.

 

THE BRUNETTE: I ENOYED ANNE HATHAWAY AS THE WHITE QUEEN.

 

THE BLONDE: WAIT, I AM SO CONFUSED, ANNE PLAYED ELTON JOHN?

 

THE BRUNETTE: I GIVE UP!  YES, YES INDEED BLONDE, ANNE PLAYED ELTON JOHN.  MAYBE YOU NEED TO GO BACK AND SEE THE FILM WITH THE 3-D GLASSES THIS TIME.

READER ALERT: MOVIE GOERS AT NO TIME WAS ELTON JOHN OR MENTION OF THE BRILLIANT ELTON JOHN AT ANY TIME IN THIS FILM. NOR WAS HE PORTRAYED AT ALL IN THIS FILM BY ANNE HATHAWAY OR ANYONE ELSE!

 

THE BLONDE: WHAT? BUT YOU SAID…

 

THE BRUNETTE: GO BACK TO YOUR FANTASY ZONE AND CHILL!

 

THE BLONDE:  WELL, THE MOVIE DOES QUOTE. “HAVE I GONE MAD”?

 

THE BRUNETTE: AND IT ALSO QUOTES: “I’M AFRAID SO. YOU ARE ENTIRELY BONKERS. BUT I WILL TELL YOU A SECRET, ALL THE BEST PEOPLE ARE”!

 

THE BLONDE: I LOVED WHEN ALICE WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM REALITY INTO THE HOLE.  I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I JUST WANTED TO FALL INTO A HOLE MYSELF. 

 

THE BRUNETTE: WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SET ME UP THIS WAY?  I WILL LET THIS ONE SLIDE… RIGHT INTO THE HOLE!

 

THE BLONDE: WHAT??? WHATEVER… I DID ENJOY THIS FILM BUT I WAS ALSO, DISAPPOINTED ON MANY LEVELS.  I EXPECTED MORE OF A STORYLINE THAT WE COULD TAKE OUR YOUNG CHILDREN TOO? THE ACTING WAS WONDERFUL AND THE FILM WAS PRETTY TO WATCH. I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SEE JOHNNY ON SCREEN MORE WITH MORE LINES AS WELL.  I RATE ALICE IN WONDERLAND A SOLID C. I RATE JOHNNY A DEPPY A+ AS ALWAYS.

ANNE HATHAWAY, YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO WORK MORE ON YOUR ELTON JOHN THOUGH.

 

THE BRUNETTE: HAVE I GONE COMPLETELY MAD? I THOUGHT SHE NAILED ELTON! JUST KIDDING.

SERIOUSLY HOWEVER, I THOUGHT TIM BURTON REFLECTED LEWIS CARROL’S IMAGE OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND IN THE VICTORIAN AGE ACCURATELY. I RATE THIS FILM A SOLID B…. AND A DO NOT MISS IN 3-D I-MAX.

 

THE BLONDE: DONT BRING YOUR YOUNG KIDS. LEAVE THEM AT HOME. LET THEM LISTEN TO BENNY AND THE JETS….